As the caretaker of three cats, there are days they get on my nerves. Perhaps they jump on the counter, where they are not supposed to go, and eat one of my fish. Perhaps the younger ones are aggravating the old cat and she is squawling. Perhaps they have gotten a ton of cat hair on my best "Sunday-go-to-meetin'" clothes. I am fond of reminding my cats, on days like this, "It's not too late for me to fix cat stew for dinner, you know"!
I even got my friend Linda started with the "cat stew" and since she runs a rescue, Pet Pals, Inc., she has tons of cats! We finally sat down and started dreaming up a recipe. So here for the enjoyment of all is our very own recipe for Cat Stew! Enjoy!
PET PALS' CAT STEW!
juice from 2 cans of cat-licked tuna
small rodents or birds
2 cups spilt milk eau de tom spray
1 cup heavy cream, cat whiskers removed loose cat hair
2 cups of regurgitated kitty kibble scattered kitty litter
12-14 medium-sized hairballs
1 huge dollop each of tolerance and love
1 cup of stuffing from shredded furniture
1 or more cats, to taste
1 cup shredded house plant
Mix tuna juice, milk and cream, thicken with regurgitated kitty kibble. Add in stuffing, hairballs, and shredded house plant, along with as many birds or small rodents as your cat has recently left on your doorstep, pillow, couch, etc. Add a spritz of eau de tom, sprinkle liberally with all the loose cat hair you can brush off of your current outfit. If not enough, scrape the couch and chairs for more. Add a dash of scattered kitty litter. Stir well and simmer until done.
Cover all previous parts of recipe with a huge dollop of tolerance and ignore. Take cat(s) and hold in lap until well warmed. Add a huge dollop of love, stroke until purring steadily. Enjoy your cat stew!
Susan Randall © 2004
Proud member of Pet Pals, Inc.
Permission to cross-post without changes, including author's name. Permission for 501(c)3 ONLY to publish free of charge, without changes, including author's name.
How to Make Puppy Pie
Take one puppy, gently roll and play until lightly pampered,
then add the following ingredients.....
1 cup patience....
1 cup understanding....
1 pinch correction....
1 cup hard work....
2 cups praise and 1 1/2 cups fun ... blend well.
Heat with warmth of your heart until raised or until puppy has doubled in size.
Mix with owner until consistency is such that owner and puppy are one.